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I
confess that I have a bit of an addictive personality — not in the sense
of being an alcoholic or a drug addict, but more in terms of getting
hooked on stimulation. A minor example is that I had a tin of mints in
the car recently, and I would often find that as soon as one mint was
gone, I'd reach for another. The mints are sugar-free and this form of
addiction isn't a big deal, but boy can I get through a tin of mints
quickly!
Similarly
I can overeat, particularly on unhealthy foods like potato chips or
popcorn. Again, as soon as (or even before) one morsel has been swallowed
my hand is delivering another to my waiting lips. This is a bit more
serious because I'm maybe 12 to 15 pounds (roughly 5 to 7 Kg) overweight,
and although I run and generally try to eat healthily my occasional
binges make it hard for me to lose that excess.
You
might say that I lack willpower. A lot of us would say that about
ourselves. But what I'm finding successful in reducing these little
addictions has nothing to do with willpower. Instead, I've been
practicing being mindful of cessation
— specifically of the way that flavors fade away in my mouth.
The
flavor beginning to fade away is the trigger for my habit. My normal,
unmindful, habit is to reflexly seek a new "hit" of flavor as
soon as the previous one has started to fade. So the phenomenon of a
flavor fading away is what I'm choosing to observe.
This
is a really interesting practice! Watching a flavor decay, curving slowly
down to non-existence, gives me an opportunity to practice equanimity and
non-reactivity. As the flavor fades, I feel no desire to reach for
another hit. Watching the old flavor disappear is actually way more
satisfying, just as watching the fading away of a sunset is satisfying.
And I've discovered that I can observe the fading away of a flavor for a
long time. I've found that the flavor of a mint is still detectable in my
mouth an hour and a half after eating it.
So
far this is working very well.
Now,
I can also get addicted to mental stimulation as well, and this often
manifests as a restless desire to consume social media. If I get a bit
bored I reach for my phone or open up a new tab in my browser so that I
can check twitter.
I've
been writing this article as I wait to renew my driver's license at the
local Department of Motor Vehicles. Having written the previous paragraph
I picked up my phone and my finger moved toward the Twitter icon. But
before it got there I checked in with the feeling tone of my
restlessness. And I just watched it as it faded away. The feeling itself
is hard to describe. Fortunately I don't need to describe it, but just
observe it passing. Again I found that it was enjoyable to observe it
passing away, and when it was gone I had no desire to read Twitter.
Instead I just let myself connect compassionately with the other people
waiting with me. That was enjoyable too.
I've
found that the concept of willpower is overrated. We either strongly
desire to do the "right" thing or we don't, and the difference
is often to do with strategies. If not eating a mint or not opening
Twitter can be made enjoyable (making it enjoyable is a strategy), then
that's what we'll do.
I've
been finding that observing the process of cessation of an experience is
fun. Maybe that'll be true for you as well. Maybe not. I'm just
suggesting this as an experiment that you might want to try.
With
love,
Bodhipaksa
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